We all know how there’s a belief amongst us gay men that there are mostly bottoms and that tops are a rare breed. I’ve wanted to write this blog for years but let me start from the top.
It all started when I was an 18 year old white boy blessed with a bubble butt (yes I thanked my mother for giving me a butt like that). I will never forget the first compliment it ever got, picture it, high school band awards ceremony and I win an award. I get up, go get my award, and when I got back to the table the first thing a girl said to me was “You have a nice butt.” That’s where my journey as a top with a bubble butt began and the comments about my butt haven’t stopped.
As my wonderful gay journey went through the years I came across clever names of cities like Fort Bottomdale (that would be Fort Lauderdale, FL). But it seemed no matter where I went, NYC, LA, Miami, Chicago, even the midwest the sentiment was the same, there’s nothing but bottoms.
Here’s why this topic resonated with me, I’ve lived my gay life as a top who only gets hit on by other tops. It’s always a fun little dance we tops do when we discover each other. Both of us trying to touch, dance up on, or down right grope each others’ asses. As we both reluctantly allow it to happen the gig is up. We know we are two tops...but hey, we can still go home and sword fight.
These tops always tell me it was my butt that drew them in.
YOU DO HAVE OPTIONS
So I’ve come to this conclusion, gays, if you want a top, get that ass to pop! They’ll come. I promise you. Don’t skip leg day...and dear lord...if you squat just make sure you do it right and safe. According to Men's Journal you should be doing hip thrust, barbell deadlifts, walking lunges, kettlebell swings, box squats, and single leg glute bridges. To read more on how to perform these exercises go to the article in the Men's Journal. If you turn to surgery more power to you.
If both of those ideas sound like hell to you, and you're looking for instant fix to your problematic backside, we offer glutes enhancing underwear here. Shhh.. we won't tell ;)
THE CARDINAL RULE
Lastly, bottoms it is a good idea to make friends with a top who has a nice ass. Become his bestie if not his husband. Then, as other tops hit on him for his nice ass he can introduce you, his amazing bottom bestie! You could even just standby him and wear undies that take out all of the guess work.
I hope you find peace that there are plenty of tops out there, trust me, everytime I go out that’s who hits on me. I haven’t had a bottom hit on me in years...that’s a topic for another blog.
Oh! Or these underwear will certainly get the attention of tops at the next underwear party you go to!
Good luck boys!
Joseph Cardin: Co-Founder of thewellbranded.com